Ten things I hope never to hear again on a date
I got that job. In Seattle.
I don’t really like other people.
You’re not allergic to cats, are you?
Can I interest you in a Dutch silent film?
All gay people are going to hell.
I could never live in the Midwest.
You’re so happy. Me, I have all this existential angst.
I’m like this cactus. Cute, but you don’t want to get too close.
Want to see my sub-automatic machine gun?
You’re an attractive woman, but you’re a terrible dresser.
I don’t really like other people.
You’re not allergic to cats, are you?
Can I interest you in a Dutch silent film?
All gay people are going to hell.
I could never live in the Midwest.
You’re so happy. Me, I have all this existential angst.
I’m like this cactus. Cute, but you don’t want to get too close.
Want to see my sub-automatic machine gun?
You’re an attractive woman, but you’re a terrible dresser.
posted by ellen at 12:48 AM
4 Comments:
How about my personal fave, a phrase which I have heard twice, in fact, from two different gents, and which can be fairly summarized as follows: "Well, this has been fun, and you are really very nice, but I've decided after some consideration that I prefer men."
"Have you seen my blog?"
"Last good book I read? Joe Friel's training bible."
"I am from Uraguay and grew up with seven servants."
"I have an unnatural fear of rejection."
HUH, you think those are bad, try this,
"The more you know about the Dewey Decimal System, the more you can learn." He then expounded on the potential knowledge now available.
"This one time at waffle house..."
"You're really athletic looking" with disaproving tone, then talking about how awesome Kate Moss is.
Upping the ante--Double Date
"Catherine, this is Capitalist Eve from America."
Gossip about a tryst that included yourseld and a member of the other dating pair.
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